Distractions

I see it now. I surround myself by friends or even strangers if needed in order to mask my pain. I cannot handle being by myself because I will just keep reminding myself how I failed myself and everyone around me. I will call myself "pathetic" and "loser." I do not want to get close to anyone anymore. I cannot handle the fact that one day they are going to leave me like you left me. We were like brother and sister, man. We WERE brother and sister. And you left me. Because you could not face your fears, but I understand. I understand you. You do not want to be hurt again. And I remind you of her. Sometimes I will accept this and sometimes I will throw a fit. I will bang the walls and yell, "FUCK YOU FOR LEAVING ME. FUCK YOU FOR MAKING ME THINK THAT I COULD HAVE A LITTLE BROTHER."