To Be Alone

I need to stop wanting to surround myself with friends. I need to be by myself. I need to love myself without distractions. All I ever wanted was love and acceptance from everyone I meet - but I realized that the only acceptance and love I ever needed was myself. I don't know why I hate myself so much. I don't know why no matter how many times I smile to myself in the mirror, I just see a big failure. Even when I got all straight A's, even when I have so many friends, even when I made my mom proud. I can never live up to my own god damn expectations. I can never please myself. I can never love myself. I can never accept myself. I will always compare myself and I could never measure up to people. I feel like you took away the ability to love myself. As much as I hate you, as much as I want to forget you. You are still here. I do not what love is anymore. I just give and give and hope someone will love me back, love me the way you did.