Bittersweet Indeed

So maybe I'm silly. Maybe I'm stupid. Maybe I'm an idiot. A goof. A goody goody. I can be everything I want to be. I can be nice in one second. And btchy in the next. I can be kind and caring today, but cruel and ignorant tomorrow. And I hate that. I hate how I can never control my feels, but mask them with others I made up. I hate the fact that practically no one understands me. And I know you are still trying, love. I HATE HOW SOMETIMES I HAVE TO PUT WITH PEOPLE WHO USE SARCASM. AND JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE BEING "SERIOUS", THAT DOESN'T FREAKING MEAN YOU CAN'T FREAKING HELP US, Brian. But I guess that's how it is. And now I know why people don't like buying roosters from the store. Oh well. I guess I'm just that strange. I need to feel again. I hate myself. I hate everything. I need my old feelings back. Where are you, #1... I hate the third girl... I just hate her. LEAVE ME ALONE. The only positive is lunchtime with my loved one. After that, was almost complete bull. I lack communication skills. Those three last words you said to me... burst into tears... now I know why you can't cry in front of me. It's embarrassing to cry in front of somebody. It makes you seem weak and timid. WELL FFFF PEOPLE WHO THINK THAT. WHO THE FFFF THINKS THAT WAY. THAT BECAUSE PEOPLE CRY MEANS THEY'RE A WIMP? THAT THEY'RE SISSIES? Well I got news for you type of people out there, we'll see the one who's alone in house eighty years later and crying because no one bothered to talk to you since you think that way. Crying is a way to release all the angry emotions you've bottled up for so long. It helps you relax and feel again. Bottling stuff up... is a bad thing. And I should know that. I should know.